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Dr. Phil teaches us seven keys in his book “The Ultimate Weight Solution”. Key One is right thinking and is exactly how you need to walk into your new lifestyle…. knowing and training yourself to walk into success. Key One explains numerous self defeating messages. No wonder I could never be successful with a weight loss plan of any kind. I was guilty of ten of the self defeating messages. I did not need anyone to beat me up because I was my own worst enemy and did it myself. Key One WILL change your life if you do two things. Give yourself the time to spend the time in this chapter. Be honest with yourself. By mastering Right Thinking weight loss became the easiest thing I’ve ever done. The weight loss really and maintenance have really become second nature. Food is the substance of life and I eat to live and have taken my power back. I am sharing my journal that took me from 197 lbs of a miserable human being just feeling I was taking up space, a LOT OF IT, I might add, at a size 18 to becoming my own best friend. I learned if I did not take care of myself why would anyone else. I became my own best friend and if I’m by myself well WOO HOO, it is a party of one!!! The information for the seven keys below came from my very own journals we, as challengers, had to keep, during the televised challenge.
KEY ONE - RIGHT THINKING
I am guilty of several of the ten self-defeating messages! I must have plenty of stinkin’ thinkin’ plus back up in my internal dialogue!
1) INTERNALIZING- Once again, I tell myself nothing I do is good enough. Before I start I condemn myself to failure.
2) LABELING- I’m lazy, fat, who cares just be a spud! I “internalize” these labels. There’s that nasty word again and doom myself from the get go. I jokingly called myself a “spud” in the house. That is from my couch potato days and two hours of drinking coffee. Like Thomas I am changing my nickname to Kilowatt (a little burst of Energy)! J I LIKE IT AND IT JUST MADE ME ALL PERKY INSIDE!
3) ALL OR NOTHING THINKING- I am so guilty of this thinking. It is the “well I’ve eaten the one Zinger. Obviously I’m a failure and may as well eat the whole box or at least eat it all until it’s gone and no longer in the house”. As if that was the last Zinger made, yeah right! My best friend Elizabeth is getting married September 20. I definitely harbor this All or Nothing thinking in my life or I wouldn’t already be thinking about what will happen if I eat a piece of her wedding cake! Duh! I’m going to conquer this thinking immediately. I want to not faint and feel doomed if and when I decide to eat a piece of wedding cake and by Gosh I’m going to have a piece and not have to eat the whole cake! Nerves be damned help is ON THE WAY and the stinkin’ thinkin’ is OUT THE DOOR!
4) Catastrophizing-OMG! This is the WORST. This is my turning every happening in my life, food or otherwise into a mountain from a molehill. Literally, for me, “none of life’s event are ordinary. Every pound is the most I’ve ever gained. Every slipup or mistake is a disaster and every comment is the rudest” I swear Dr.Phil surely you have been riding on my shoulder all my life. You had to have been. I am guilty of this just last night and this morning. I turned the conference call into a Catastrophe. God forbid I had to drive two and a half hours to Durham to a Kinko’s. My anxiety level blew through the roof. Why did I have to panic? I knew I would be able to find someone fairly close to me that would be able to facilitate the video conference. I knew I would. Why did I about throw up from anxiety about it. I even talked to my sister Ingrid. We are both guilty of being scared out of our wits driving long distance. Where that comes from neither one of us knows. My brother is a retired OSI officer (Air Force Office of Special Investigations) He can spin a car and keep going in the same direction. Driving doesn’t bother him at all. Actually it never bothered me because I’d drive anywhere before I moved to N.C. I’ve lived in this very small town for 20 years now and the thought of city driving makes me ill! That’s just something I live with. So, the call is scheduled….The producers tell me the closest place is Durham. YIKES, I knew I would find someone closer that could handle the call but still got all bent out of shape. Like your book says Dr. Phil….”this internal dialogue is self-defeating because I am acting illogically toward a situation instead of viewing it rationally”. This definitely leads to “when talking to myself like this, it CAN lead to a loss of self-control over healthy behavior”.
5) PIPE DREAMING- I am guilty of this only to the extent that it is definitely time for me “to get real about what I can really achieve”. No more BS, no more excuses, getting rid of the stinking thinking, getting rid of the whining about wahhhhh my back hurts, Flex is going to kill me deaddddd!
6) SELF-DOWNING. This must be what has been so ingrained in my being from childhood and subconsciously has affected my soul to this day. I get blue thinking that I have carried this around with me and held onto it for so long. That’s why I took so seriously what Sam was joking about with his wideload comments. My time in the house made me think of another childhood occurrence that was similar to what Sam does for the laughs. When I was in sixth grade I tried out for the part of Mrs. Cratchitt. It came down to me and another girl. They announced who won the part in front of the entire sixth grade class. When they called my name that I had won, Greg Stapleton, the boy that was to play Bob Cratchitt, bellowed out “OH NO NOT HER” The entire class laughed and laughed and laughed. I stood in front of the class and had to take the ridicule. I could have died. Sam only made his wisecracks in front of coworkers and close friends to get the laugh. What’s the difference, other then Sam is someone who claims to love m and Greg was a little butthole kid (Sam no longer even thinks about teasing me. I think you put the fear of God and he realized how much it hurt me) I refuse to put up with it from him or anyone else. Now, I just have to refuse to allow myself to say or think about it OF myself!
7) POOR ME THINKING- Oh Wahhhh I can’t have the Zinger….Oh wahhhh I can’t sit on my ass all day now! I realize that there is a physiological connection to what I eat or don’t eat. I feel good and energetic when I eat right. I feel gross and blue when I don’t. Why would I do something to make myself feel bad? Not gonna do it anymore…not at this juncture. You hit the nail on the head, once again, with “what I fail to rationally take into account is that I can still go to parties, I can still go on vacations, and I can still do anything I want to do. I just need to focus on the camaraderie, the scenery, the activities, and the “battery recharge” I get from relaxation and recreation, rather then center every occasion on food”! I simply cannot allow myself to overeat and do anything to myself that is going to deprive me from a healthy weight, an attractive appearance, self-regard and peace of mind!
KEY TWO - HEALING FEELINGS
I never realized until recognizing the largest pain factor in my life (physical and emotional abuse from my dad) just how much living with “unchecked emotional pain” affected my living in such an adverse way. I never could understand why I just was not happy when everything seemed to be going so right. Plus, I responded so abusively toward myself anytime something “triggered” my emotions. If someone made me mad or hurt my feelings or I had a stress that I did not want to deal with, why did I punish myself and not the object of my duress? Well, I did give Sam a few choice words or no words at all. It’s been like that for so long, quiet in this household, it is going to take a while to come back to that point we sit in the living room all night and just talk. It seems we are still seldom in the house together for long periods of time. You will see that in the shortness of the video tapes from the kitchen and living room. It still seems like we are living separate lives. I’m really counting on Key Two to help me and Sam overcome this lack of conversation.
AM I AN EMOTIONAL EATERI am guilty of several of the ten self-defeating messages! I must have plenty of stinkin’ thinkin’ plus back up in my internal dialogue!
1) INTERNALIZING- Once again, I tell myself nothing I do is good enough. Before I start I condemn myself to failure.
2) LABELING- I’m lazy, fat, who cares just be a spud! I “internalize” these labels. There’s that nasty word again and doom myself from the get go. I jokingly called myself a “spud” in the house. That is from my couch potato days and two hours of drinking coffee. Like Thomas I am changing my nickname to Kilowatt (a little burst of Energy)! J I LIKE IT AND IT JUST MADE ME ALL PERKY INSIDE!
3) ALL OR NOTHING THINKING- I am so guilty of this thinking. It is the “well I’ve eaten the one Zinger. Obviously I’m a failure and may as well eat the whole box or at least eat it all until it’s gone and no longer in the house”. As if that was the last Zinger made, yeah right! My best friend Elizabeth is getting married September 20. I definitely harbor this All or Nothing thinking in my life or I wouldn’t already be thinking about what will happen if I eat a piece of her wedding cake! Duh! I’m going to conquer this thinking immediately. I want to not faint and feel doomed if and when I decide to eat a piece of wedding cake and by Gosh I’m going to have a piece and not have to eat the whole cake! Nerves be damned help is ON THE WAY and the stinkin’ thinkin’ is OUT THE DOOR!
4) Catastrophizing-OMG! This is the WORST. This is my turning every happening in my life, food or otherwise into a mountain from a molehill. Literally, for me, “none of life’s event are ordinary. Every pound is the most I’ve ever gained. Every slipup or mistake is a disaster and every comment is the rudest” I swear Dr.Phil surely you have been riding on my shoulder all my life. You had to have been. I am guilty of this just last night and this morning. I turned the conference call into a Catastrophe. God forbid I had to drive two and a half hours to Durham to a Kinko’s. My anxiety level blew through the roof. Why did I have to panic? I knew I would be able to find someone fairly close to me that would be able to facilitate the video conference. I knew I would. Why did I about throw up from anxiety about it. I even talked to my sister Ingrid. We are both guilty of being scared sh@tless driving long distance. Where that comes from neither one of us knows. My brother is a retired OSI officer (Air Force Office of Special Investigations) He can spin a car and keep going in the same direction. Driving doesn’t bother him at all. Actually it never bothered me because I’d drive anywhere before I moved to N.C. I’ve lived in this very small town for 20 years now and the thought of city driving makes me ill! That’s just something I live with. So, the call is scheduled….The producers tell me the closest place is Durham. YIKES, I knew I would find someone closer that could handle the call but still got all bent out of shape. Like your book says Dr. Phil….”this internal dialogue is self-defeating because I am acting illogically toward a situation instead of viewing it rationally”. This definitely leads to “when talking to myself like this, it CAN lead to a loss of self-control over healthy behavior”.
5) PIPE DREAMING- I am guilty of this only to the extent that it is definitely time for me “to get real about what I can really achieve”. No more BS, no more excuses, getting rid of the stinking thinking, getting rid of the whining about wahhhhh my back hurts, Flex is going to kill me deaddddd!
6) SELF-DOWNING. This must be what has been so ingrained in my being from childhood and subconsciously has affected my soul to this day. I get blue thinking that I have carried this around with me and held onto it for so long. That’s why I took so seriously what Sam was joking about with his wideload comments. My time in the house made me think of another childhood occurrence that was similar to what Sam does for the laughs. When I was in sixth grade I tried out for the part of Mrs. Cratchitt. It came down to me and another girl. They announced who won the part in front of the entire sixth grade class. When they called my name that I had won, Greg Stapleton, the boy that was to play Bob Cratchitt, bellowed out “OH NO NOT HER” The entire class laughed and laughed and laughed. I stood in front of the class and had to take the ridicule. I could have died. Sam only made his wisecracks in front of coworkers and close friends to get the laugh. What’s the difference, other then Sam is someone who claims to love m and Greg was a little butthole kid (Sam no longer even thinks about teasing me. I think you put the fear of God and he realized how much it hurt me) I refuse to put up with it from him or anyone else. Now, I just have to refuse to allow myself to say or think about it OF myself!
7) POOR ME THINKING- Oh Wahhhh I can’t have the Zinger….Oh wahhhh I can’t sit on my ass all day now! I realize that there is a physiological connection to what I eat or don’t eat. I feel good and energetic when I eat right. I feel gross and blue when I don’t. Why would I do something to make myself feel bad? Not gonna do it anymore…not at this juncture. You hit the nail on the head, once again, with “what I fail to rationally take into account is that I can still go to parties, I can still go on vacations, and I can still do anything I want to do. I just need to focus on the camaraderie, the scenery, the activities, and the “battery recharge” I get from relaxation and recreation, rather then center every occasion on food”! I simply cannot allow myself to overeat and do anything to myself that is going to deprive me from a healthy weight, an attractive appearance, self-regard and peace of mind!
I scored the following:
1) Frequently=18
2) Occasionally=13
A total score of 31. Well, while I am not in the serious category with emotional eating I’m right on the cusp! I knew this was going to be a tough one. I continually struggle with emotional eating because my emotions can turn on a dime from happy go lucky to outright Linda Blair Exorcist Mad as Hell and want to hurt someone to pouty and downright depressed. God thank you….help is on the way with Key #2.
STRESS SCALE
My score was 155 from taking the “stressors” audit, scoring came from the following.
1) Conflict between Sam and I (70)
2) Sam’s heart attack (third) in November of 2002 (35)
3) Purchase of a new car (20)
4) Big family celebration or get-together…I also include politics in this stressor (20)
5) Overly demanding job responsibilities and community committee responsibilities (10) I can’t believe this one is that low of a score since it is so prominent in my life
OMG! A score of 65 or above indicates I am undergoing significant stress (you think-I knew that) I just did not know just the extent it IS undermining my weight loss efforts and harming my overall health.
